Hi, I'ma17 year old girl. For the last few months I've made some connections and think that I may have autism, and some recent things which have happened made me connect the dots. I recently scored a high score on one of those autistic diagnostic tests. As a child I had a very difficult time making friends, and up until I was a teenager I'd had only the same two friends from early childhood. Now I find that I have the ability to make friends, but I'm extremely disinterested in about 99% of people. My only close friend now is my ballet instructor, who I today found out is autistic. We are extremely similar in personality. I think that I might be manic-depressant. I sometimes have extreme anxiety. My mom is unstable and I was emotionally abused heavily throughout my childhood. I've always been extremely intelligent. I taught myself pre-algebra and how to read by the time I was three, play three instruments and have heaps of complicated and obscure hobbies. I've come to realize that the only way I can entertain myself is by fully immersing myself in it, whether that means painting for 6 hours at a time three days straight, then never picking up a paint brush again, or reading movie summary upon movie summary, one right after another, for hours at a time on wikipedia. I'm what most would consider very attractive. This, combined with my strange personality and habits, I guess, has always attracted older men and women to me, sexually and platonicly. I'm too afraid of what people will think if I mention it to anyone or see a doctor, because I'm not sure whether or not I really have it.
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