does my husband have aspergers?

Hi there,

Reaching out to people on here as I haven’t had any luck finding a therapist who specializes in Aspergers. Also we have a new baby and live in a new city, so I don’t know how we’d get to marriage counseling right now without finding a babysitter we trust. Anyway.

I’m wondering if people think my husband may have Aspergers, although if he does, I think he’s very low on the spectrum. I want to find out as I think it could help our marriage.

My husband is wonderful. Incredibly talented. Very funny and playful. He had a childlike sense of humor and is so goofy. Much of why I fell for him.

He is very obsessive. specifically about objects.

He has what I can only really describe as childlike temper tantrums over things that are not big deals (he will break down if I mess up one of his objects/sentimental items).

He lacks empathy. Unless it’s for maybe our dogs.

He can ramble for hours about the most boring topics and is obvious about it. Or how no one else is interested.

At times his humor can be a bit inappropriate.

Very minimal sex life.

Major introvert. exhausted by people. Not a lot of friends. The friends he does have are mostly much older than him and into objects and ideas too.

Very reactive. Goes from 0-10 in a split second.

I can’t discuss anything important with him without it turning into a big fight. He is constantly apologizing to me. He’s very blunt, too.

However, I don’t feel he lacks all social skills. He makes eye contact and can have discussions with people when he’s interested. People find him fascinating and even mysterious.

I don’t know what else to say. Thoughts?

  • Your husband sounds very similar to mine. I don't have a formal diagnosis for him, but since our son has finally been diagnosed I am seeing so many similarities, I think my husband is definitely on the spectrum. It certainly changed the way I interact with him now that I have a better understanding of where his behavior stems from. I hope you find a good counselor. They can be so helpful.