I am new to the site but am so glad I found it. I am in need of support and advice and maybe one or two friendships along the way with people who understand what it is to be married to someone who has autism. I didn’t know he had autism before we got married because I didn’t really know about it. We have been married six years and he was just diagnosed last year.
It has been a long 6 Years. I don’t know what to do with him most of the time and I am at the end of my rope. He has a money spending problem and he lies so that he can take out credit cards and has run up our debt. We finally froze his credit but that still doesn’t stop him from lying and trying to find new ways to get money to spend. We are not poor so it’s not like he is deprived. I took him on vacation to Alaska this year with the money I made. Last month he found old closed account checks and put them in our bank account as if they were good checks and took out 1400 dollars and spent it in two weeks.
He has horrible communication skills and is non confrontational. Which makes it worse because it makes me feel like a jerk when I blow up at him for spending money we dont have. He has started this last year just not coming home for a day or two like every other month because he either doesn’t want to deal with his mess or he overwhelmed. I found out he lost his job the week before because he didn’t come home and I went to his work place. When he runs he blocks me on everything except for email. I won’t know where he is or when he is coming home.
All that awful stuff being said he doesn’t want to get divorced although at one point I begged him. He sincerely loves me as much as he can in his capacity. He wants to change and to stop hurting me. He tries to make changes. I think he just doesn’t know what to do. When he isn’t doing these awful things he is funny and sweet. He is a good dad to my kids. I made vows and don’t take that lightly. I love him and want to work it out.
Any advice or perspective is much welcome