Public schools????

I have a teen who has Aspergers. Not sure if he is high functioning or not, but if I had to guess I would say his is mild. The main issue we have is he doesn't want to be around a lot of people he doesn't know.
I pulled him out of school in the middle of 8th grade because of the bullying and being teased all the time. What some of those kids were doing to him really scarred him. Now he is 17 and should be in 11th grade. I have been told by the place that diagnosed him, he would benefit more from public school than being at home. They say this is because people and kids with this tend to isolate themselves most of the time. That they need to practice being in a regular school setting.
So I am thinking about getting him back into public school because im affraid he is going to live the rest of his life in his bedroom. However, I am going to check into a different school other than the one the kids that bothered him before are in, hoping this would help a little.
I'm just wanting to get some input from others on what they think. I'm just so affraid he will not try to live a little if I dont do this.
  • Being there for him is a great way to go given that socialization could be a problem among children with asperger or autism spectrum. The more they try to interact with others the better. In addition to being in public school, community involvement where the child could meet other children with the same condition is quite helpful. Hope you find the site below interesting
  • Being in the middle of a playground with several hundred other kids is not positive socialisation. In fact, socialisation is the worst reason to send a kid to school, You'd be better off finding a homeschool support group and going to that or find a group that does something he is interested in like an art group or whatever it is he likes - maybe a youth group
  • Hi, For the last 20mths Ethan has regressed quite a lot. Home schooling has been on my mind for a while now, although Ethan's current school is not happy about it and both his OT and ST disagree. His therapists have stopped therapy as they say he isn't progressing :( There are no special needs school where I stay or even in areas near me. His teacher and therapists are more concerned about Ethan socializing than anything else. And for me I would just like him to cope and go forward which feels like it's taking forever, but we are doing it one step at a time. For me socializing is not important! Reducing general anxiety and separation anxiety is more important.
  • msuncertain I have found that the school system generally does not have your child's best interest at heart Mothers do. If YOU think he's better off at home you are right. I'd home school him and see if you can't integrate him socially with other kids in extracirricular activities and local home school coops.
  • WhenASD kids get on the playground with a few hundred others, they get lost. They don't know what to do. They would love to be included, they just don't know how :( unless someone from the school system is there teaching them correctly, they will stay lost.

    I've seen this so many times with my kids. Inclusion is the US public schools is a great idea cooked up by people who don't provide adequate funding and staff to make it work the way its supposed to in theory. Instead it wind up being a half baked idea that falls apart in the real world. That's why kids get bullied. So kids need to know that they are loved and respected and the public school system makes them feel like a little fish in a big pond that does not care about them.

    If it were not for my twins ABA clinic I'd have quit my job and started home schooling long ago. They are only in school part time and they are in speech therapy and art and music classes most of the time. And they get their core academics in a special ed room with one on one aids. Its not the way the perfect inclusion model is supposed to work since the school system is incapable of providing that, we do what we can to make it work.

    [Updated on 8/18/2014 7:44 AM]
  • I've had big fights with the school system for the past 4 years. They are afraid of me and they hate to see me coming with my knowledge of autism and panel of experts to assist me with the IEP's. But I don't care how they feel nor will I ever. They aren't going to have to be responsible for my kids if they grow up and can't take care of themselves, I will. So I keep hounding them just to keep them on their toes. I try and keep my expectations higher than what they are providing just to make them keep trying to make the system better. I've been fighting all week with them trying to get the school year started and I'm about ready to go all the way to the state superintendant on certain issues. GRRRRR! I've been the *** all last week. I hate being that way too. In my perfect world I wouldn't have to get mean just to get action :(

    [Updated on 8/18/2014 7:52 AM]
  • I would try to be a little more careful who I want to be mad at and have big fights with. Back when I was a skills trainer, I was asigned to work with an eight-year-old girl at school. Her mother and the teacher didn't like each other. They would get into cat fights whenever the mom came to school because she knew the teacher wasn't following her daughter's IEP. The teacher didn't see why one child should have all of that special attention, especially when there were other children who could have benefitted from extra help also, despite the fact that they didn't have the same challenges the little girl had. I think the teacher took it out on the little girl. At least she didn't give her any special treatment. The little girl had coordination problems, and one day, she accidentally trampled over a class project that the kids were doing on the floor. The teacher yelled at her so loudly, it frightened her. She cried, and I had to take her out into the hallway and talk with her.

    The moral of the story is to proceed with caution because you may not always know how your child is being treated when you are not around, and he may not know how to tell you. Also, I have found that if you need something done, you have to make people want to help you. You can sometimes get it by force or coercion, but it may not be in your best interest. Stressed out teachers may be less inclined to do what you want. By the sounds of it, you are getting the results that you want, or at least they have managed to make you believe you are. Also, it may have negative effects on your children if they are aware of all of the tension. They may even think it is their faults. Some food for thought. Okay, I've said enough. I hope it works out for you.
  • Elodie E thanks for your food for thought. But I always start out being nice and unfortunately nice doesn't get you anywhere. I hate acting like a crazy woman to get things done but it's the only way I get any action :( the school board isn't going to be responsible for my kids if they grow up and can't take care of them selves, I will. So I show them no mercy. I place my twins teacher and she's really sweet but she's like a puppet on a string. She can only do what she's allowed to do. I get mad at the administrators that make stupid rules instead of providing trained staff to educate our children. I try to make it better for other kids as well as my own. And if I find out that the staff is taking it out on my kids I'll sue the pants off of them!
  • Sorry Christine, I don't mean to say they are taking anything out on your children because I really don't know that. I just wanted to say I know of a case whereas the child was caught in the middle, and it did seem to me that the teacher was taking it out on her or maybe the teacher was hard on her, but I only saw it one time.

    I really don't know your situation other than what I read on your post. It sounds like you said you live in a place with a school system that needs to improve. I'm not even sure what you are referring to when you say "get any action," what the rules are, or what it is that you want them to do, and I can't begin to speculate.

    All I know is where I live, when a child has special needs, the parents put them in public school, charter school, private school, or home school. I once knew a woman who didn't want her son in any school, so she opened a school for autistic children. I'm not sure if her school is still in operating.

    I think you have to do what you think you must. I hope it all works out for the best.
  • We have found it very useful to have our son's psychologist or OT attend IEP meetings and then involve her when a concern we have does not seem to be adequately addressed. This has helped us maintain a less confrontational relationship with the school. When a teacher will not comply with an IEP and the principal and ultimately superintendent do not take care of the situation a lawyer may need to get involved. We fortunately have not had to resort to that. But a teacher should not get away with not complying with an IEP. This will harm all kids with an IEP in their classroom for years to come.

    I have found involving others in getting the situation resolved has been very helpful. I would worry that if there is a very bad relationship between the parent and school, the child will possibly be treated poorly.
  • My son is 15 and recently diagnosed with Autism. I just had an IEP meeting at his school, he's in high school, and I brought up the subject of home schooling my son. They totally blew me off like I should just let them do what they have been doing. Problem is, my son has never done any work in class since he was in primary school. I feel like I'm torturing my son every time he goes to school. He never says anything, he doesn't do any work, and I just don't feel that they have my sons best interest at heart. Does anybody have any suggestions on how to home school?
  • They just don't want to lose the funding they get for him. Do what you want
  • I am in the process now of changing my twins IEP's so that they can attend school while the local university is closed and school is open. Right now they are not allowing my twins to attend school when their autism clinic is closed. Its completely ludicrous to not allow my twins to go to school because they are excused part of the week to go to their ABA clinic. After I win this battle with this IEP change then I getting legal advocacy and trying to get the clinic reimbursed for the time that that they are absent from school. The school system is just being difficult because they don't want to lose that money. They are trying to block me every way that they can. The twins pediatrician supports the ABA clinic and I LOVE them because my kids make progress there. They only people that don't want them to go there is the school system. They have their own agenda at heart not the best interest of my kids.
  • If this is still relevant, try the following to use in homeschooling: