Fear in these crazy times.

I’m not on here often. Too busy. Working full time. Been doing Security now 15.5 years. I’ve worked with Law Enforcement countless times, hundreds upon hundreds of cases in a number of places. I’ve lost friends and coworkers, including having to help investigate the disappearance of one of my team members, who fell victim to domestic violence. At the core, I specialize in several facets of my field. Investigations being my bread & butter. I’ve had moments where I knew I wasn’t coming home alive at the hands of other people. I’ve spent time away from family. Despite the diagnosis, I’ve seen it all, and somehow I’m still alive. 

Now we have a big problem. Coronavirus/COVID-19. More so than the sickening of so many people and the deaths of many more, there’s one thing I fear in all this....... People and their behavior.... I am part of an essential business for which it’s safety and security is my responsibility. In these crazy times the behavior of seemingly many has become the biggest threat to my safety and the safety of those who work for the business. I’m in fear because I’ve had a gun flashed at me and knives pulled on me by people who are irate due to not being let in because of capacity restrictions. They’re becoming hostile over Potting Soil of all things. I’ve ordered people to leave or face Law Enforcement contact over such behavior. Either that or one of the local Thieves or other Criminals gets a bright idea. End result, I’ve had people try to follow me home. I’ve got safeguards in place thankfully but hope to God o never have to rely on them. Included in that is EVOC training which is the drivers course taught to Law Enforcement. My car has a Sport Mode and a 6-Speed Automatic with Manual Shift Mode. It’s built for Fuel Efficiency, which is the mode I use daily to get 40+MPG, which is higher than what Hyundai says it gets. In Sport and Manual Modes though, I’ve had to use the EVOC training to get rid of the tail on 4 occasions in the past 8 weeks. My Car is also fitted with Cameras front and rear in addition to the Backup Camera that’s mandated for anything 2018 or newer. I have a 2019. That’s more in a 2 month period than in the previous 15 years. So yes, I do fear for my family, and fear for my own safety on top of it. Anyone that says people with Autism don’t experience fear, well I hate to burst their bubble. I’ve never felt as fearful and threatened as I do right now. The Virus scares me, yes, but the way people are behaving right now is the source of the biggest fear and longest sustained fear I’ve ever experienced in my life. Sorry to spill the beans like this, but that’s what I’m looking at and how I’m feeling right now. I have my lady, her parents, her brother, his wife, and a Niece and Nephew to look after too. They’re priority one. 

  • so far I've been writing work from home schedules to keep myself focused thought the day. this virus too has taken a hold on me and my daily routine. but ether it's staying at home or dying from Covid-19. so the former i choose. it's people my age that are acting so ignorant not taking the stay at home order seriously, it's like a joke. this ain't not joke. this is REAL. so many people are dying and we got to make better choices for our lives.