I have been looking for an online support for years - I think this may be what I'm looking for.
I am a NT wife of a man with high functioning ASD.
I really need support and new strategies/perspectives. We have been married for 18 years and there are really good times as well as some times where I have never felt more alone and hurt in my life. I expect I am not an easy partner for him either, given that I am a feeling oriented person with a deep desire to be understood. I know it's not going to happen, but the need doesn't go away.
Conflict issues are a major thorn. I want to talk things through and figure things out together. He gets overwhelmed or feels criticized/angry and then leaves the room. I feel like we never get anywhere. Then he gets angry that the same issue comes up again. He has blind spots - thinks that if he doesn't see an issue, there isn't one. Last night I was trying to tell him I was feeling stressed at work. He responded by saying "that's not a real issue." I tried explaining that he might not see the issue, but that doesn't mean I'm not experiencing it. He said he didn't get it, and left the room. I feel unheard, unloved, alone. I've tried counseling but no one really gets it, and there are no ASD specialized therapists in my city.
There are many good days too, days when he sees right to the heart of me, even before I see it myself. I cherish those days.
I'll stop going on. If anyone has any suggestions for a thread that would be helpful, I'd be grateful. Or if anyone has any suggestions at all, that would help too.