Friends

Hello, I am new here.

I have an 8 year old son who was diagnosed ASD at the end of last year (though we had suspected for years). 99% of his "issues" are social.

I am having a very hard time trying to figure out how to help him understand when other kids are bullying him and that he needs to let an adult at school know. He loves everyone, everyone is his "best friend" and literally cannot comprehend when kids are being mean to him. This week in casual conversation he told me about a boy at school who was playing "early April Fools jokes" on him. The "jokes" involved pulling him down to the ground by his hair, stepping on his feet, pulling his chair out from under him and pushing his food into his face. He was not telling me to report it, he just thinks they are playing with him.

This is not the first time this has come up, his doctor and other parents at school have let me know about similar situations. He is not the easiest kid to handle, when he melts down he is often violent and the teachers at school definitely have a hard time with him. I am meeting with his teacher to discuss ideas, but...

Does anyone have tips to help him understand that, for his safety, he NEEDS to tell an adult when other kids are putting their hands on him. That it is not playing, it is inappropriate and he needs to tell?

Feeling overwhelmed...

  • Our son had similar outbursts which eventually led us to another school w better protocols. The school was able to give out son a hall pass that he could use anytime when he was feeling overwhelmed or picked on. That way he could exit the situation and go to a safe place. Like the library if he likes books. The school needs to be involved and provide ways to solve this issue. Get them to listen. Mostly they are overwhelmed and don't want to do the extra work it requires to help But sometimes you get lucky and find the Gem. Out son was treated this way till he was 12, at which time he got picked on and bullied by 2 kids and he blew up and said inappropriate things. The school could no longer handle him "their perspective" it's easier to ask us to go, then ask people to be kind. Start looking for a kind school with KIND parents. Parents who share your love and frustrations.
  • Our son had similar outbursts which eventually led us to another school w better protocols. The school was able to give out son a hall pass that he could use anytime when he was feeling overwhelmed or picked on. That way he could exit the situation and go to a safe place. Like the library if he likes books. The school needs to be involved and provide ways to solve this issue. Get them to listen. Mostly they are overwhelmed and don't want to do the extra work it requires to help But sometimes you get lucky and find the Gem. Out son was treated this way till he was 12, at which time he got picked on and bullied by 2 kids and he blew up and said inappropriate things. The school could no longer handle him "their perspective" it's easier to ask us to go, then ask people to be kind. Start looking for a kind school with KIND parents. Parents who share your love and frustrations.
  • In reply to Sgaeser:

    The school has actually been pretty good. He is allowed to leave when he needs to and they have worked with us to try to make things easier for him at school. Now that we have an official diagnosis they are trying to get him and EA and set up other supports he may need.
    The issue I am having is he never "feels picked on". He thinks these kids are his friends and just playing with him. I can't figure out how to make him understand it is not OK and he needs to tell an adult when it happens.
  • In reply to Sgaeser:

    The school has actually been pretty good. He is allowed to leave when he needs to and they have worked with us to try to make things easier for him at school. Now that we have an official diagnosis they are trying to get him and EA and set up other supports he may need.
    The issue I am having is he never "feels picked on". He thinks these kids are his friends and just playing with him. I can't figure out how to make him understand it is not OK and he needs to tell an adult when it happens.
  • In reply to Sgaeser:

    The school has actually been pretty good. He is allowed to leave when he needs to and they have worked with us to try to make things easier for him at school. Now that we have an official diagnosis they are trying to get him and EA and set up other supports he may need.
    The issue I am having is he never "feels picked on". He thinks these kids are his friends and just playing with him. I can't figure out how to make him understand it is not OK and he needs to tell an adult when it happens.
  • The school has actually been pretty good. He is allowed to leave when he needs to and they have worked with us to try to make things easier for him at school. Now that we have an official diagnosis they are trying to get him and EA and set up other supports he may need.
    The issue I am having is he never "feels picked on". He thinks these kids are his friends and just playing with him. I can't figure out how to make him understand it is not OK and he needs to tell an adult when it happens.
  • The school has actually been pretty good. He is allowed to leave when he needs to and they have worked with us to try to make things easier for him at school. Now that we have an official diagnosis they are trying to get him and EA and set up other supports he may need.
    The issue I am having is he never "feels picked on". He thinks these kids are his friends and just playing with him. I can't figure out how to make him understand it is not OK and he needs to tell an adult when it happens.