Is Harry Autistic

Harry wakes up and I know the day has started.

I sometimes make breakfast for him without asking, he may eat it, usually he just ignores that it is there, If I ask him what he would like, I may get an answer or not he often will open the fridge and look inside, if he is stopped he will get angry, not picking up the fact that I am very cross, he just laughs and thinks it is funny. If I can get him interested in an egg it has to be hard boiled or scrambled or he will not touch it , if he is interested he will then proceed to cook the egg himself his way, anything that is done different he will have a meltdown. He does not like any food that is lumpy or has bits in it and will go for hours without eating.

Next task comes in getting him dressed; in itself it is a work of art, he will shout he is not going to school and run away and hide, By this time it is getting late for school but Harry has no concept of time or that he has to go to school. My strategy is to try and occupy him   in some construction which he likes and while he is focus try and dress him.

Having eventually got him dressed and ready, the next obstacle is to get him into the car, If he is interested and focus on what he is doing  he doesn’t look at me or acknowledge that I have spoken,  If I try to force him he will become very aggressive, lash out and get very upset.

I have to try and detract him someway by getting him a book or toy and promising to read it in the car. Once we are on our way he wants my attention the entire way. Once we get to school I have to keep my fingers crossed that he will get out of the car, I have had to enlist the help of his teaches on several accessions

I have worked with children my entire life and am quite used to dealing with them, Harry is different and the management has to be different.   All normal methods of discipline do not work, over the past 5 years I have tried them all. With over firm discipline Harry will just crumble and sob, wet and soil his pants, he really does not seem to understand what he is being reprimanded for.

 

On return from school, we have to go through a ritual where he climbs on the post box and waves with both hands; we have to do the same, When asked how his day went, the question is either ignored or he gives us a one sentence answer (Riley was naughty) I pushed for more he will snarl, spit, punch me.

There is still 4 hours to bed time and in order to get through it I have to give Harry complete attention.  I try to get him to watch Netflix for half an hour to settle him down, if he is enjoying the program he will sit for maybe one and half hours, (rarely) during that time I have to sit with him or he will start experimenting or fixing anything around him. If he goes to the toilet (and he has mostly to be encouraged) I keep an eye open as he may disappear, especially if he hears a noise outside he will just run off and investigate.

Taking Harry shopping is short of a nightmare everyone usually comes home stressed, He can disappear in an instant, when found he may have found a trolley and filled it full of goods, having  no understanding that they have to be paid for) or have ran back to the escalator just riding up and down.

 Similar taking him for a walk, if he is not tied in his pushchair or on reigns he will run off. On the beach he runs ahead and can climbs up the rocks to a high position, similar to the park he can be playing nicely on his bike and without warning, drop it on the floor and quickly disappear only to be found high up a tree with no fear of falling or the understanding that he can be hurt.

Harry like the company of other children, as long as they are running round or riding their bicycles any formal play like the ball game pig in the middle, He is lost,

When we are at the park he will often see a group of children playing ball, he will run over and start running alongside of them and trying to catch the ball, he has no comprehension that the boys are ignoring him and just getting on with their games, it is truly heart breaking to watch.

When we take him to play centres we have to be extra visual in case other children get into his space if there is an upset James might lash out at them or hide in a corner extremely anxious and upset and wet or soil is pants.

I like to play table games with him, unfortunately he cannot understand the concept of any of these and makes his own rules up, if we move a piece or interfere he gets very upset all games have to be played his way. At the turn of a switch he can throw a temper tantrum seems to lose control and show physically aggressive behaviour to me, or his mum.

Harry has severe language development, although over the last two years his vocabulary has improved, his conversations are more like statements than having a discussion.

 

Harry wakes up and I know the day has started.

I sometimes make breakfast for him without asking, he may eat it, usually he just ignores that it is there, If I ask him what he would like, I may get an answer or not he often will open the fridge and look inside, if he is stopped he will get angry, not picking up the fact that I am very cross, he just laughs and thinks it is funny. If I can get him interested in an egg it has to be hard boiled or scrambled or he will not touch it , if he is interested he will then proceed to cook the egg himself his way, anything that is done different he will have a meltdown. He does not like any food that is lumpy or has bits in it and will go for hours without eating.

Next task comes in getting him dressed; in itself it is a work of art, he will shout he is not going to school and run away and hide, By this time it is getting late for school but Harry has no concept of time or that he has to go to school. My strategy is to try and occupy him   in some construction which he likes and while he is focus try and dress him.

Having eventually got him dressed and ready, the next obstacle is to get him into the car, If he is interested and focus on what he is doing  he doesn’t look at me or acknowledge that I have spoken,  If I try to force him he will become very aggressive, lash out and get very upset.

I have to try and detract him someway by getting him a book or toy and promising to read it in the car. Once we are on our way he wants my attention the entire way. Once we get to school I have to keep my fingers crossed that he will get out of the car, I have had to enlist the help of his teaches on several accessions

I have worked with children my entire life and am quite used to dealing with them, Harry is different and the management has to be different.   All normal methods of discipline do not work, over the past 5 years I have tried them all. With over firm discipline Harry will just crumble and sob, wet and soil his pants, he really does not seem to understand what he is being reprimanded for. 

On return from school, we have to go through a ritual where he climbs on the post box and waves with both hands; we have to do the same, When asked how his day went, the question is either ignored or he gives us a one sentence answer (Riley was naughty) I pushed for more he will snarl, spit, punch me.

There is still 4 hours to bed time and in order to get through it I have to give Harry complete attention.  I try to get him to watch Netflix for half an hour to settle him down, if he is enjoying the program he will sit for maybe one and half hours, (rarely) during that time I have to sit with him or he will start experimenting or fixing anything around him. If he goes to the toilet (and he has mostly to be encouraged) I keep an eye open as he may disappear, especially if he hears a noise outside he will just run off and investigate.

Taking Harry shopping is short of a nightmare everyone usually comes home stressed, He can disappear in an instant, when found he may have found a trolley and filled it full of goods, having  no understanding that they have to be paid for) or have ran back to the escalator just riding up and down.

 Similar taking him for a walk, if he is not tied in his pushchair or on reigns he will run off. On the beach he runs ahead and can climbs up the rocks to a high position, similar to the park he can be playing nicely on his bike and without warning, drop it on the floor and quickly disappear only to be found high up a tree with no fear of falling or the understanding that he can be hurt.

Harry like the company of other children, as long as they are running round or riding their bicycles any formal play like the ball game pig in the middle, He is lost,

When we are at the park he will often see a group of children playing ball, he will run over and start running alongside of them and trying to catch the ball, he has no comprehension that the boys are ignoring him and just getting on with their games, it is truly heart breaking to watch.

When we take him to play centres we have to be extra visual in case other children get into his space if there is an upset James might lash out at them or hide in a corner extremely anxious and upset and wet or soil is pants.

I like to play table games with him, unfortunately he cannot understand the concept of any of these and makes his own rules up, if we move a piece or interfere he gets very upset all games have to be played his way. At the turn of a switch he can throw a temper tantrum seems to lose control and show physically aggressive behaviour to me, or his mum.

Harry has severe language development, although over the last two years his vocabulary has improved, his conversations are more like statements than having a discussion.

 

Harry wakes up and I know the day has started.

I sometimes make breakfast for him without asking, he may eat it, usually he just ignores that it is there, If I ask him what he would like, I may get an answer or not he often will open the fridge and look inside, if he is stopped he will get angry, not picking up the fact that I am very cross, he just laughs and thinks it is funny. If I can get him interested in an egg it has to be hard boiled or scrambled or he will not touch it , if he is interested he will then proceed to cook the egg himself his way, anything that is done different he will have a meltdown. He does not like any food that is lumpy or has bits in it and will go for hours without eating.

Next task comes in getting him dressed; in itself it is a work of art, he will shout he is not going to school and run away and hide, By this time it is getting late for school but Harry has no concept of time or that he has to go to school. My strategy is to try and occupy him   in some construction which he likes and while he is focus try and dress him.

Having eventually got him dressed and ready, the next obstacle is to get him into the car, If he is interested and focus on what he is doing  he doesn’t look at me or acknowledge that I have spoken,  If I try to force him he will become very aggressive, lash out and get very upset.

I have to try and detract him someway by getting him a book or toy and promising to read it in the car. Once we are on our way he wants my attention the entire way. Once we get to school I have to keep my fingers crossed that he will get out of the car, I have had to enlist the help of his teaches on several accessions

I have worked with children my entire life and am quite used to dealing with them, Harry is different and the management has to be different.   All normal methods of discipline do not work, over the past 5 years I have tried them all. With over firm discipline Harry will just crumble and sob, wet and soil his pants, he really does not seem to understand what he is being reprimanded for.

 

On return from school, we have to go through a ritual where he climbs on the post box and waves with both hands; we have to do the same, When asked how his day went, the question is either ignored or he gives us a one sentence answer (Riley was naughty) I pushed for more he will snarl, spit, punch me.

There is still 4 hours to bed time and in order to get through it I have to give Harry complete attention.  I try to get him to watch Netflix for half an hour to settle him down, if he is enjoying the program he will sit for maybe one and half hours, (rarely) during that time I have to sit with him or he will start experimenting or fixing anything around him. If he goes to the toilet (and he has mostly to be encouraged) I keep an eye open as he may disappear, especially if he hears a noise outside he will just run off and investigate.

Taking Harry shopping is short of a nightmare everyone usually comes home stressed, He can disappear in an instant, when found he may have found a trolley and filled it full of goods, having  no understanding that they have to be paid for) or have ran back to the escalator just riding up and down.

 Similar taking him for a walk, if he is not tied in his pushchair or on reigns he will run off. On the beach he runs ahead and can climbs up the rocks to a high position, similar to the park he can be playing nicely on his bike and without warning, drop it on the floor and quickly disappear only to be found high up a tree with no fear of falling or the understanding that he can be hurt.

Harry likes the company of other children, as long as they are running round or riding their bicycles any formal play like the ball game pig in the middle, He is lost,

When we are at the park he will often see a group of children playing ball, he will run over and start running alongside of them and trying to catch the ball, he has no comprehension that the boys are ignoring him and just getting on with their games, it is truly heart breaking to watch.

When we take him to play centres we have to be extra visual in case other children get into his space if there is an upset James might lash out at them or hide in a corner extremely anxious and upset and wet or soil is pants.

I like to play table games with him, unfortunately he cannot understand the concept of any of these and makes his own rules up, if we move a piece or interfere he gets very upset all games have to be played his way. At the turn of a switch he can throw a temper tantrum seems to lose control and show physically aggressive behaviour to me, or his mum.

Harry has severe language development, although over the last two years his vocabulary has improved, his conversations are more like statements than having a discussion.

 

 

  • Hi, I read your story. How many compliments does Harry get? Do you realize you wrote the entire story about the negatives. Can you find one positive thing, that Harry does, that you likes, or agrees wit? I don't mean to be surd, but in my own situation of advocating for our son 19 years old, an "Aspie". I have been where you are. I've learned to see the compliments for the little things as well as giving, gifts or rewards upon milestones, have assisted our family in coping. Sometimes, we get focused on what we would like from our Aspies, rather than, what our aspie can do, does or exemplifies. I noticed your son, does lots that most "normal" kids don't or are unable to do. He is challenged by a family that's High achievers. He seems as a hard working young man. Maybe a couple rewards may encourage him to feel acceptable.
  • In reply to EmmaB1:

    Yes he is. My wife and son are spies and have similar OCD tendencies.