not my post anymore thank you

i now feel strong enough to write this after all this time of suffering in silence if you dont liek what i write then dont read it walk away and forget it .

Firstly i used to go to chat room every single day for hours at a time dedicating my life to helping others and along the way meeting some great friends and getting advice too to me being there i was accepted i laughed like i hadnt laughed for years i found people who changed my life and gave me confidence and safety and a love like i had never had before in my life i was so so grateful and happy happier than i had been for a very long time , i did my very very best to always be there for others and help them as much as i possibly could ,sometimes days there were hard sometimes random people would come making death threats to people and just being nasty to our special members to see my new friends so scared and helpless tore me apart ,i then said yes to being an operator to be able to keep the rooms safe and kick out any unwanted monsters and vile people and help as much as i could i wanted to do this i wanted to help and was shocked that host even asked me a person who never achieved nuffing like this before a responsability just for me one i knew in my heart and soul i would take very seriousely and do the best i possibly could .

So i took my job seriousely i helped make some rules with the host to keep chat room a safe and happy place to be ,i made sure new people were welcomed and given as much supoort and help as possible ,i was there for hours and hours for months and months dealing with problems helping people out and to me doing the best i could do i honestly believed i was doing a good job i honestly believed i couldnt try any harder if i tried .

One day my whole world crashed down i was verbally attacked in the chat room told to go find another site ,called a bully a drama queen and a bad mother ,and sarcastically called princess fairy and even told to die why ? i hear you ask ill tell you exactly why ill tell you every single reason i was given as to why i deserved that number 1 ,i was too nice 2,i was an operator not a councillar, 3, i was friends with one person who other people did not like 4, i would not choose between 2 sides of people that was arguing 5,i took things to perosnally so they was the reasons yes i was an operator but i was still me how can i suddenly change being too nice or taking thingspersonally when that is the person i am and always have been .

I immidietely stood down from being an operator in my head i had failed my job my world had crashed people who i believed were my friends didnt make me feel they liked me no more i feel into a deep depression over it id sit and cry when people vunerable lovely lovely people messaged me not understanding why i wasnt ther no more begging me to go in and help them i just cuddnt do it anymore i had failed i had to let them down ,after a while i tried to be strong and go back because so much in my heart i missed my special friends but each time i went back in there my belly hurt i felt sick i just couldnt do it .

So now you all know the truth why i ask you all to respect and appreciate all people at chat who do there very best to help you and remeber even if someone is an operator there they are still a human being with feelings and deserve to be treated right always know that not one day dont go past without me thinking of you all we had good times funny times chat parties so much i will keep in my heart and head forever more so much of it i will appreciate but sadly alot i will always feel heartbroken over .

Love and hugggggggggggggggggs to you all and always remeber what i always used to tell you that you are special unique people and i will keep you in my heart forever xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
  • I have another question for you.If i`m so hysterical and don`t know what i`m talking about,why do you bother to read my posts?Let me point something out to you that you don`t seem to have figured out.You can be kind of a jerk at times,which guess what,it`s a common triat of autism spectrum disorder.No offense but your kids appear to have different mothers,which says,ytou maybe have a problem with relationships yourself,which is also a common trait of autism spectrum disorder.You drive a garbage truck,which might suggest you have a problem with to much human interaction.Your son has autism,which is genetic,so he had to have gotten it from somplace.Keep telling yourself your NT dude.Either you are ashamed to admit it,or you just havn`t figured it out yet.Peace.
  • Sorry,I wrote that on the wrong thread.
  • ok momma its on now,
    i am forced to read your posts because you constantly hijack everyone elses posts and turn it into the herbal remedy show. for some posts that is just fine and for others its just being plain rude.
    now i said you may be suffering from a mild form of hysteria and you are diagnosing me with autism and dragging my work life and my family into this.
    how does driving a garbage truck mean im bad at social interaction????
    my dad was in the business before i was even born
    and if you must speculate on my family and my inability to maintain a relationship then you can sit back and get the real scoop so you can use it against me again anytime you wish....as you have no idea at all.
    my children have different fathers but i guess since you have such a negative view of men in general you didnt stop to think that maybe i have a big enough heart and the moral value enough to take on the responsibility for someone elses child who i met at the age of two and love them care for them and raise them as if they were my own because im just a pig that drives a garbage truck huh!
    ill let you speculate as to which child that is since you are such an expert at genetics and speculation and assumption.
    my wife who is the mother of both children also has schitzophrenia. this went undiagnosed until she commited some financial crimes that landed her in prison for 51 months leaving me to raise the children alone and broken mentaly spiritualy and financialy....and yes i raised both children as if they were my very own because in my heart they are and neither child has any idea that one of them is not mine and say what you want.....and i know you will....i prefer to keep it that way.
    the triathalon post is a good example of how you hijack posts here and sidetract them into your own obsessions. the man came here to post about an athletic event and to raise funds.
    he used the word cure so that set off a spark.
    when someone asks advice on how to handle aggression in a child i feel its fine to say your piece about calming him with herbs and such.
    when a parent comes here looking for advice about school issues why is it you feel the need to inject your homeopathic views?
    i dont folow you around to read your posts so i can put you down....i cant get away from them because you post your views on homeopathy everywhere so im forced to read through them to get through a thread so i can comment to the original poster who was aking for the advice that i may find relevant to the original topic.
    i too am finaly strong enough to post all of this as i dont care what anyone thinks and who attacks me for stating my views.
    and amomma your post sorry i wrote that on the wrong thread rings true for alot of threads.
    so thanks for calling me a mindless sheep! to prove i have a mind of my own shall i start by telling you everytime you pull a bill gates on us all by trying to force your views down everyones throat like he does. or havent you figured out that is exactly what you do when you hijack a post that has no connection with your paranoid and warped assumptions??
    i know im going to draw alot of heat from posting this and im not trying to divide the community here at asn. im not looking for anyone to side with me as i am perpared to hang on this cross alone so dont bother to chime in if your on my side on this one.
    being a dad im used to being the odd man out here.
  • ok leo my heart goes out to you love, you are such a good man, bringing up another child, my husband has also done this and she knows her true father now, but refuses to have anything to do with him as she says, my dad brought me up was there to wipe my tears, so hes my dad, ok im a support worker in a hospital so i also clean up sh.., in the raw form, but i agree with you how can you find a cure with out a cause, i also am fed up with all these herbs, and diets, so i bring my son up on the food i eat, so lets say if this place is diveded , then i place my coin on your square lol xx
  • now im really really hurt thanks alot do you have any idea how hard it was to post this today ? sat tyoing it with tears pouring down my face after months of battling a deep depression over it all today i took courage within myself to explain and to give myself closure on it and try to move forward yes some of you may of forgotten it all and got on with your lives but i never did it tore me up inside so i finally pluck up the courage to do this so i cud close the door and now look at this post im sorry but i will not sit back and say nothing you have made me feel like a nobody like a complete idiot and by bringing your argument here like this is unacceptable and has hurt me alot and because of this as i now feel like i dont matter at all and you have disrespected me i will now be leaving asn for good i will message host to remove me with immediate effect
  • fairy my comment was not directed at you or for you. i was commenting to amomma who mistakenly posted to me on the wrong thread.
    the hurt you feel from having your post hijacked is no different than others feel when they get their posts hijacked.
    i hope you know i care about you and yours and your original post gave me the courage to say what i said here. so know that you inspired me...im sorry if i offended you in any way.
  • fairy please this was not against you darling, its not you going on and on about diets and herbs, its not you attacking and bringing peoples familys into this, please please dont let this affect you, it was lovely to read your post today, and as leo said we care and love you please please dont think this anything to do with your post xxxxxxxxxxx
  • i just woke up now coz didnt get no sleep last night my son was awake i remeber in the night i kept thinking i wonder if i can give jack any more melotonin or whether your just meant to give before bed as i did but for some reason it didnt work so maybe i been over emotional but anyway dont worry i will be ok caz and leo thats nice you said i inspired you leo. i have changed this post now and moved it to a diffrent one so well you can all talk here if you want to xx
  • oh and host didnt even remove me when i asked him to so i think i will stay now xx
  • fairy they have increased jacks melotoin to three tabs a night, but its still not working hes up all ours, so they have said there is others if it doesnt work xxxxxxxx
  • jack has 3mls a night and always works but last night he woke up at 11 ish and just couldnt get back to sleep alllllllllll night but i didnt know whether to give him more or not xx
  • @A.Momma, you act so high on your high horse blaming those with Autism for being so rude, but your comments today on this thread forced me to respond this way. your comment today on this tread is a poor over generalization stating that it's common for people on the spectrum are jerks and make such comments that are offensive. You, ma'am are the one who is being a jerk attacking others right now.

    Than you go on and attack someone's kids... Thats just low. Granted, attacking someone when they open up on a thread is low, but to attack their kids, what makes YOU a better person? Also, when someone does Garbage collection or other jobs that would be a sensory sensitive job, I appreciate it. I am happy that they do that, so people like me (which are sensitive to the senses) don't have to do it ourselves. So, those who do jobs like Garbage Collection, THANK YOU.

    A.Momma, you attack others on forums, which suggest you have low self-esteem and have to lift yourself up above someone else to feel good about your life. At least that is the way it looks from my end.

    Don't get me wrong, I am not saying I am better than anyone, or know more, I just offer one perspective and hope it helps others. I know the diets and herbs you mention over and over have success for certain cases, but they aren't the answer for all cases, so please keep those suggestions to threads where it is relevant and let other threads for the topics mentioned.

    I don't always respond to your comments, due to the fact that it doesn't pertain to me or anything that I am following, but I had to speak up here because you not just attacked Fairy (by the way it looks here) but you attacked people on the spectrum here. Please don't attack us, we don't need that here.
  • well said joe, i love fairy and leo and i am so sorry i will not stand back and see them being attacked, we all have our veiws on autisim, but we try to speak our minds but, we do not attack each other in any personal way , again i have to say well said xxx
  • momma didnt attack me did she??
  • it looked that way to me. I might be wrong, but her comments look like they were directed at you.