Dont know where to turn

My 9 year old son has not yet been diagnosed, hes had many symptoms since the age of two. I first noticed something when he started spinning a cloth or tea towel,or anything really he could get his hands on,,he would stand there and spin the material then drop it and pick it up in the same way repeatedly. He would have tantroms about things like not being able to press the radio off in the car every single time we got out, and when he started to be able to come down the stairs on his bottom, he would have to go back up if he dident do it the right way every time. When he was 4 i took him to be assessed they told me to come back when he was 7. I had him assesed through the doctor when he was 7, and was told his actions may be down to a car crash we had been in the previous year and told me it was post traumatic stress disorder. Now i am haveing him assses again through his school because im so worrid as his symptoms have got worse. Over the years i have moved house altot of times and only recenlty we have retured to my sons home town after liveing in cornwall. Alot of the time i have moved to try and make him happy as he has never got on with the friends in every place we have lived, but i now realise it dosent matter where we are, nothing changes. He always comes running in in a rage that the kids are picking on him, He has a anger fit if i ask him to do anything for example brushing his teeth, its so hard to get him to do it calmly, Hes so sesative and we have to watch everything we say to him.Im worrid sick at the minute as he has started picking the skin from his chin and now has two big scabs, he just want stop picking,and biting his nails and fingers. The school he is in have told me it is going to be a battle to get a diagnosis because he dosnt show any symtoms in schooMy 9 year old son has not yet been diagnosed, hes had many symptoms since the age of two. I first noticed something when he started spinning a cloth or tea towel,or anything really he could get his hands on,,he would stand there and spin the material then drop it and pick it up in the same way repeatedly. He would have tantroms about things like not being able to press the radio off in the car every single time we got out, and when he started to be able to come down the stairs on his bottom, he would have to go back up if he dident do it the right way every time. When he was 4 i took him to be assessed they told me to come back when he was 7. I had him assesed through the doctor when he was 7, and was told his actions may be down to a car crash we had been in the previous year and told me it was post traumatic stress disorder. Now i am haveing him assses again through his school because im so worrid as his symptoms have got worse. Over the years i have moved house altot of times and only recenlty we have retured to my sons home town after liveing in cornwall. Alot of the time i have moved to try and make him happy as he has never got on with the friends in every place we have lived, but i now realise it dosent matter where we are, nothing changes. He always comes running in in a rage that the kids are picking on him, He has a anger fit if i ask him to do anything for example brushing his teeth, its so hard to get him to do it calmly, Hes so sesative and we have to watch everything we say to him.Im worrid sick at the minute as he has started picking the skin from his chin and now has two big scabs, he just want stop picking,and biting his nails and fingers. The school he is in have told me it is going to be a battle to get a diagnosis because he dosnt show any symtoms in school. He never has and ive always been told of how good he is, but i know that he holds it all in to adapt to the rules and is very tense in school all day, he hates going and tells me he feels sick every single morning. I have been told by family and freinds over the years he will grow out of his tantrums and hes probably insecure due to me moveing him about.If this is the case then i dont think ill ever forgive myself for causing his anxiety and insecurety. All i want is for my son to be happy,ni my heart im sure he has some kind of disorder but i will always dought myself untill he has been diagnosed. Is there anyone that reconises theses symptoms and can relate to this as my heart is braking, i need to help my son and im not sure how anymore.
  • I shall bring this matter up at the Autism Victoria Meeting on 21 March in Melbourne. Yes about spinning the towel or any thing simular
  • Thankyou very much, he also has had a habit of tapping his hands on things,tables ,walls. almost anything, especailly if hes sitting still, hes done this for years and still does. His anger fits are getting worse and he has lashed out at his dad many times if he has told him off. We have to prepare him in advance for any changes otherwise he will get angry or anxious, theses are also symtoms that make me think it could be aspergers?
  • This sounds very much like aspergers. Has he gone to the psycologist or behavior speciliast for diagnosis or behavioral health yet? His school's behavorist/therapist or ESE director can be a start & lead you in the right direction.
  • where are you at kelkel?
    i ask because the sytem is different everywhere.
    if you are in the states try to get a refferal to see a pediatric neurologist.
    if your regular pad says the child is add or adhd then say those are neurological conditions and that should open the door for a refferal to the ped neuro.
    good luck wherever you are.
  • It also sounds like he has Obsessive Compulsion Disorder OCD. A good vitamin mineral supplement to make sure his body is getting the nutrition it needs could help too. You could go & see a psychologist by yourself to discuss the concerns you have with your son. They could help you work out what's what.
  • This sounds very much like my son (he was diagnosed with autism when he was 3). He also spins things (wheels on toy cars especially!), taps his hands and pens/pencils on things constantly, and is very particular about the way he does things. My son also has an issue leaving the car, he has to use the same door and say the same phrase every time before he gets out or he will get very upset. My son has many rituals like that and can get extremely frustrated when things don't get done just the way he wants them.

    Timers and routine work really well for my son. I give him a schedule (with pictures) every day so he knows what to expect. If he has trouble transitioning from one activity to the next, I tell him I'm going to set a timer and that he needs to be done when the timer goes off (he picks the sound of the timer). This usually works. Each night we talk about what will happen the next day so he is prepared.

    I also try to talk with him about what to do when something unexpected happens. I do it often so he is prepared and knows how to calm himself down when he is upset. It's a long and difficult process and my son struggles with staying calm (he's only 6), but I do see progress and that's what's important. Preparation is key. If you discuss it with them when they are calm, they are better prepared to handle things when they are out in life.

    I also make a point to always tell him when he does a good job of staying calm! I let him know I see it and that I am so proud of him for doing his best. I try to focus on when he does a good job, and then just do damage control when he does not. I do my best to stay calm myself when he is upset so he can have a positive model of what to do. It's very hard sometimes, my son can be violent as well, but with time he will learn.

    Good luck!
  • Your son is autistic. I know, because my 13 year old son is autistic (he has Asperger's) and he fits your sons actions like a mold. Alot of kids with autism are in pain and don't have the capabilty of expressing their pain because they don't know exactly where it's coming from. For example: "I know something hurts, but I don't know what or why, but I know picking distracts me from it. And biting and sucking relieve it...." that's a sign there is something wrong in his mouth. It could be mild like a toothache, or the most common, acid reflux, which most children on the spectrum suffer from GI problems. You need to see a neurologist, get him diagnosed and get the correct therapies in place. There is a TON of help out there for him and if you wait, like I did, the guilt you feel is so intense it's like guilt on steroids. 

  • Also get a referral from your primary care doctor for him to see a pediatric gastroenterologist.  I'm not a professional, I'm just a mom that went through the EXACT same situation a few years ago....

  • Hi you're Experiencing the very thing what's happening in the U.K. some professionals being told not to diagnose autism solely due to the higher support needs! Please sign my petition and show your support so I can 'make a difference' for the entire autistic community! You could contact Sara Heath (Shropshire Autonomy) as she can provide a social assessment for autism at a nominal charge depending on your circumstances and she now as two psychiatrists or psychologists who can privately diagnose autism.