Hi Everyone,

Firstly let me apologise for the swearing in my last entry. I really am in a bad place and am not coping at all.

I am in a new county and for the first time in my life living with people - rather than just my mum. I am sharing a 2 bedroom house with my mum, brother and sister-in-law. 

I have lived with my brother before but only for short periods of time and always when I was younger and didnt have to think about things like money or where the next meal is coming from.

Now that I am nearly 20 and sharing a house with 3 other people I am coming to realise now more than ever just how in-flexible having Aspergers Syndrome is.

The house I now live in (am about to spend my 2nd night here) is as I said only 2 bedroom - however as well as a lounge room it also has a front reception room as in mostly standard with English houses. This front room is to my bedroom but the housing people stuffed up and atm it is full of paint cans and ladders and work man stuff as the house hasnt been finished renovating.

We had the option of waiting to move in but we were staying a tiny (tiny but rather beautiful and quaint) holiday cottage and we A. couldnt afford to stay there any more and B. even if we could - we had to leave anyway coz other people had booked it after us.

So here I am in partially renovated house - sleeping in the communal lounge room on a mattress on the floor because I cannot afford a bed and even if I could I have no room to put one in.

Having Aspergers means I really REALLY need some sort of routine in my life and I am coming to learn that living with a married couple means no routine at all. 

As I am the youngest I have the least amount of money but still pay equal bills/rent/fees etc etc so im now really struggling - but other members of my family are buying beds for 500 pounds and getting takeaway food all the time and buying things that we dont even need. None of us has a job yet (we've only been in the country for just over 3 weeks) and my brother and sister-in-law are in mega debt back home. 

It nothing to do with me but I am now FREAKING out that if they dont get jobs soon and still keep up there spending then who is going to pay the rent? No one... and then I would be homeless and its only the start of winter!

I cannot handle that me and mum are eating toast for dinner but they want takeaway pizza..... Why should I have to eat crap while they sit on MY crappy mattress and eat pizza they cant afford.

Also I bought a tv for the whole family which arrives tomorrow and my brother wanted to buy another one - he only wants it bz it is cheap but I already got us one so thats just less money we would all have. 

All this money is being spent on things like food when we really need to pay rent.

There isnt any sort of schedule for anything either - 4 ppl - 1 rather small kitchen and every1 seems to want different food at different times or takeaway when others cant afford takeaway - I cant cope with it - why cant it be that we all eat the same meal at the same time - for dinner anyway.

Also since I left Australia I seem to have died - none of my friends talk to me any more or ask if im ok. I have no one to talk to ='(

Just mega stressed out and want to live on my own.


  • Hi Heather - thanx for ur comment! There is a church yard next to the house but the weather doesnt really permit an escape route - its been minus 0 or lower every night since I got here and its dew to start snowing again soon =( I would love to be friends with you - your support really does mean alot to me.

    Hi kmdd22 - Thanx for your comment also - it is wonderful to hear from you again =).

    I have an action plan becasue no one is communicating AT ALL and iv got it all sorted but my mum wont let me implement it....

    I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to live on my own or even just with my mum but due to 101 confusing and stupidly complicated problems + not having a job - that is not an option for at least 6 months >.<

    We have no income - only our Aussie savings which isnt much when u convert it to pounds.

    Hi Jaynee - thank you also for your comment but im sorry I dont understand what you mean?

  • My daughter has it in for Australia too.

  • Sorry to hear your down Lara.Glad you 're posting again and you ARE amongst friends here.You know since you write your thoughts very clearly perhaps you should present them to the others living in the house and maybe that will wake them up to the current situation regarding expenses being incurred and the ones that absolutely need to be paid like rent/utilities before takeout pizza is even considered. Is it possible that you could live on your own like renting a furnished room somewhere or perhaps just with your mom again in a rental that is geared to whatever type of income you do have coming in between you both?

  • Woh Lara, that is just too much. Is there a place you can go close by for peace and calm like a park, library or something. I feel for you. Would make much more sense if grocery money was pooled and turns taken in making proper meals. Where does your brother get off eating takeaways while his mum has toast. You`ve got friends here. I`l be one for a start if you`l have me.:)