Hi! This past year I got to know a girl online and these past few months we have chatted often and talked on the phone (shortest call was 1,5h and longest 5h in one sitting) so I really felt a connection to this girl.
She's got autism (barely as she's said but I'm not sure what that means) and have ADHD. She's also been burned out and get tired easily from stuff I forget can be tiring, like social interactions and stuff.
I have both ADHD and GAD.
Anyway we really connected and chatted every day. She proposed I'd say hello if I ever went to her hometown which is about 2hrs drive from me.This got pushed forward because she has PMDS and she told me she didn't want me to meet her during that because she could get crazy and mean. (I am just adding what I think might be relevant.)
The weekend 2 weeks ago I was going to come to her town and meet her at a smaller gathering at one of her friends. The rules for Covid Isolation was a bit more lax here in Sweden but that weekend we got more stricter regulations for it and that gathering was cancelled.
Since she told me about the cancellation she's not responded to me at all anymore. She's still got me as a friend on Facebook and follow me still on instagram but she only leaves me on read.
The thing that is weird for me is because it all seemed to go so well. If I felt I was writing too often then she would start the chat with me or suggest I call her for company. I tried to not overwhelm her with "me" since I'm ADHD and have anxiety a lot.
She invited me and seemed to want to meet me. I know she has issues with her looks and diagnoses but to me she felt very straightforward and strong, I forgot her diagnoses all the time. My GAD makes this a living hell atm because I really care about her still and want to give her more chances than I would with a neurotypical girl but I'm not sure what is happening.
I'm not sure if this is a weirdly fast break from our friendship and kind of online dating (many conversations were more than friends talking I think) or if she got overwhelmed (she's talked about having problems listening to music because of her emotions but it's all new to me so I don't understand yet.)
I did tell her that I like her a lot but I was certain she knew that already. I'm wondering if the cancelled party made her feel anxiety and guilt toward me or something.That she invited me to something and that it got cancelled and that she said that she didn't have the energy for planned things let alone things that weren't planned.
I'm just looking for some input, If it'd be better for her if I gave up all hope or if maybe giving her some time might lead to is taking again.I've written to her every third day or so, I feel like I'm a dumb emotional neurotic guy now since it feels like I'm talking to a wall.
Nothing I see as bad happened as far as I know. Her friend that I asked told me that she does this from time to time even to her friends and that I should wait, not sure for how long though? For me it's almost mean to not even respond to me at all. She is aware of my anxieties and stuff. But I also don't want to pressure her and I want to learn how she functions.She seemed very socially capable and very similar to me in many ways, but some things I just don't understand yet.
I know that not everyone with autism deals with stuff the same way but I wanted some input.
Thank you if you read all of this. I really feel a lot for this girl and want to behave in the best way.I've researched more about Asperger's and Autism especially in women since our break but I'm still not sure what is happening.
I regret that ghosting is a part of the culture. Drop her a note acknowledging she was to break it off, then get on with your life
It's kind of what I've done. I gave her a out where she could've easily blocked me and unfriended me. And the fact that she still hasn't gives me some hope of communicating in the future. But I guess it could take a while.