hey Albert White here.
so at work this morning, i was doing current events to watch the news.and all of a sudden i blanked out, started running and hitting myself, everybody at my unit was watching me go off until my boss Leshawn told me to calm down and sit at the cafeteria, at first calming down i didnt want to do it but i intervened and agreed.
the reason i've been having those flare ups was because i see an image in my mind of something very negative and harmful. i lose myself and triggers my anger and my autism. and i have those frozen feelings i have never been able to come out since my family members have died whiten years ranging to 2012-2017.
people think it's just pure bravery, i think it's cowardly. because i have been so used to getting hit at and yelled that it enjoys me in a sick way. and i've moved out in that lifestyle ever since but i'm really trying to maintain the good space in my life and not destroy what I've gotten. i hope a therapy will help me be better.
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN THAT TIME WERE YOU'VE BEEN HURT OR ABUSED THAT MAKE YOU HAVE ANGER ISSUSE AND CAUSE BLACKOUTS AND NEGATIVE IMAGES THAT MAKES YOU FEEL AWFUL AND FROZEN FEELINGS THAT MAKE FEEL LOST THAT IT DOE SENT MAKE YOU CRY SOMETIME?
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